Does This Kayak Make Me Look Fat?

Ask your 13 year old that question sometime. When you camp you tend to eat bad food, really bad food. Even in Canada. The fact that people are speaking French all around you doesn’t change that either. It is very difficult to make any kind of sauce over a camp fire - at least this chef hasn’t learned that trick yet. So after days of sausages and granola, one tends to worry about the waistline. We have a guinea pig that gets fat eating lettuce and timothy hay, so I thought the concern over sausage and goodies from HENRIETTA'S PINE BAKERY (Dwight, ON) was legitimate.

Back in August at this very web log I recorded our top 10 paddler tips from our trip to Canada. Since then I've lost those pounds that I worried about. They probably weren't there in the first place but as a person who used to run 5 miles and butterfly the aquatic part of triathlons, I know better than to load up on junk. It was also one of the last times I fretted over such nonsense.

Last night we went to listen to Mikhail Gorbachev speak at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. It was a weighty talk, while we’re on that topic. He described how disappointed he was in globalization and described that the world today needs a little perestroika. I agree. Some of us try to introduce the concept of new thinking for the new world to our kids. As homeschoolers, we’ve already demonstrated the concept of thinking outside the box - or new thinking for the new world - by not accepting mediocre schooling for our kids. But that’s as political as I’ll get here. There are other ways to introduce new thinking. How about taking your kid kayaking just when the leaves are changing colors in a place so rugged it’s just you and God and Elmer Fudd?

We went to Grayson Lake in Northeastern Kentucky two weekends ago. We wanted to go one last cool place before we put the kayaks away for the winter and this was the place we chose. Little did we know it was hunting season. Posted at the very spot we wanted to launch our boats was a sign that said “WARNING: Stay away from Clifty Creek South shore, across from the boat launch area between September 1 and October 1. Dove hunting in progress.” As it was October 8, we launched our boats and I introduced Daffy Duck’s Hunter song, you know the one: “hunters to the left of me, hunters to the right of me, bang, bang, bang.” Made for an interesting paddle for my student. I suppose I could have told him about the movie "Deliverance" and hummed that tune instead, but I was trying to think outside the box.

We sometimes “car-camp” because it adds variety to our travel. Lately we have been camping a lot because we like taking the kayaks with us. The kayaks permit us to explore places you would never otherwise see in some of these places. In some campgrounds we are just amazed at what we see. The campground at Grayson Lake was very interesting needless to say, especially as it was hunting season. Now I always thought hunters were the hearty types, but that shows how inside the box I was thinking. Hunters these days camp in luxury yachts, or “Hilton on Wheels” as my student describes it. Our entire camping experience is set up in under 10 minutes, including the tent and the campfire. And as we sat cooking our hot-dogs over an open fire, we watched these rugged hunters unfurl their awnings and put up their confederate flags, haul out the Barco loungers and set up the satellite dishes for the two day weekend. While all the activity was progressing, we were entertained by a simple example of homeschooler-out-of-the-box thinking. A small boy stopped by our campsite while he was waiting for his parents to set up their camp site. We offered him a hot-dog and between bites in the best Kentucky accent I have ever heard, he asked us if our RV was broken down. My student asked him why he thought that and he replied that “ain’t no one he ever knew that slept in a tent that little” My student replied “Kind of hard to stow an RV in a kayak”.


The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil. It is not for you to choose what he shall know, what he shall do. It is chosen and foreordained and he only holds the key to his own secret.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Top 10 Paddler Tips

My student and I have been out on the Kayaks in Algonquin Provincial Park. Boy did we have a ball! I have a lot to write about, but right now we are busy getting ready to start another “school year”. In the meantime have a look at our list of top 10 paddler tips, devised from our experiences at Algonquin and along the way!

1. It is inappropriate sit on the bow of the he Maid of the Mist with your kayak paddles and shout “bring it on” at Niagara falls.

2. Algonquin Provincial park wolves really do exist and will visit your campsite, so don’t worry about the bears.

3. Some of the biggest frogs you have ever seen live at Costello Creek south of Lake Opeongo, in Algonquin Provincial park Ontario. Don’t let them hop into your kayak. The water is cold.

4. No matter what anyone says, vault toilettes were not a good invention.

5. Always wear sunscreen on the lake, especially if you are in a bright yellow kayak.

6. It is not a good idea to run towards a heavily armed ranger hunting a wounded wolf yelling “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” at night, in Canada.

7. Half-n-half for coffee does not keep very well in a thermos in the hatch of a touring Kayak.

8. Bilge sponges are not supposed to be used for bathing.

9. No matter how hard you paddle you cannot get your kayaks to fly over a half submerged tree.

10. If the culvert is big enough you can certainly paddle through it. Send the kid in first. Why portage if you don’t have to?

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Paddling and Swatting, Wet Entries, Impossible Boatdocks

As I wrote last time, for kayaking, a paddle and a fly swatter are necessary in Canada this time of year. The campground we booked in Algonquin sent us a coupon for “OFF”, our suspicions have been confirmed. My student's comment “think this is a hint of things to come mom?” My reply “we’ll be too in to paddling it to notice.”

One thing I have noticed is how interesting people are when they are so into what they do. I know my Guinea Pig is a fascinating creature, she’s very into her plate of lettuce right now. But seriously, yesterday as we got to know our new kayaks on a local lake I noticed how into watersports everyone around me seemed to be. They were interesting to me. There were sailors very intent on catching wind, anglers, well intent on whatever they get intent on, boaters very into speed and dragging people behind their craft, jet skiers, yes I had forgotten about jet skiers, the snowmobilers of the water sports. Even jet skiers are into what they do. My student was so worried that we’d look dumb trying the techniques we were taught in our classes and clinics. I pointed out to him how intent everyone else was around on their floating craft of choice. No one would notice our antics. I suppose it was that thing we all go through as teenagers, not wanting to look dumb in front of anyone. I imagine we were amusing for those into their sunbathing on the beach as we intentionally tossed ourselves from our boats in a variety of amusing ways.

Of all the techniques we have been exposed to, climbing into a kayak from the water (wet entries) and getting out of a kayak at a dock are the two I would consider the “test” for graduation for any new paddler. These are impossible tasks requiring the “doer of the deed” to bend in ways they didn’t even remember that their bodies could. Unless of course one weighs under 100 pounds and don’t care about grace, composure, scrapes and bruises. I am sure the whitewater kayakers have a few moves they’d consider graduation maneuvers, but right now we’re into the touring aspect of this sport, so we’ll save the Snake River for another outing and look forward to our “graduation day”.